Wednesday, April 22, 2009

dating websites

So, as a newbie to the online dating world, your head is probably spinning as to where to begin. We felt that way too at the beginning. Commercials for e-harmony (lindsay lohans e-harmony commercial, haha), advertisements for match.com, emails from yahoo!´s Personal, chemistry.com, the list goes on and on. We too, were lost at first and still feeling a little uncertain about the whole process. It seems scary posting pictures of yourself, information about yourself (tip: never post anything that can identify you, last name, address, phone number are all no nos), so it is important that you feel comfortable with your dating service and find a place where you think the people are most like yourself! At first there is no harm in giving a few a try (most sites have free trials), taking advantage of the free glance arounds and deciding which one fits you best.

After a bit of research and speaking to some of our friends we decided that the ones most popular for people in their early 20´s were: match.com and yahoo! personal. Match.com is probably the largest and has over 20 million people throughout the world, we would say it has the reputation as the simplest and easiest and most popular to use. On the other hand, rumors tell us that e-harmony is geared at an older population, someone that may be looking for a very serious relationship or looking to get married. perfectmatch is another popular page that we just don´t know a whole lot about, but also considered a reputible popular place to meet someone!

Here is a great page that breaks down some of the characteristics of the most popular dating services. We urge you to take a look and give one of these a try! We can´t wait to hear your stories! Any insight ya´ll might have into these websites where we are not as familiar, would be greatly appreciated!

Happy Earth Day!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

a few tips

want to know how us matchgirls play the game, we will let ya into a few of our tricks of the trade.....

1. it IS ok for a matchgirl to contact a guy. online dating is an extremely populated and complex system. sometimes you may have to do a little searching to uncover some of those gems, you can´t always expect them to contact you first!

2. if you receive a wink, either a. wink back (your sorta ehh ehh about him) b. email him (he´s lookin fab) or c. do nothing (you are not interested)

3. if after 2 or 3 emails back and forth, you a. are not feeling it, b. there is no mention of person to person/phone contact, c. he has taken forever (longer than a week) to respond to each email, d. he has not been active for over a week, e. or the emails are just LAME....forget about him!

4. always speak on the phone before you go out-hey if you can´t have a phone convo chances are your real life convo won´t flow too much

5. boy should be blocked if: a. he incessantly sends you unwanted messages, b. he/she says creepy stuff, c. he/she has 20 yrs on ya(creeep-unless ur into that-sorry we dont condone these things) d. has a daughter your age (yes that has happened to US!), e. his/her pictures are CLEARLY from last months j.crew catalog

6. ALWAYS be honest. if you aren´t interested yet have been out, tell him. its ok to ignore a wink or an email but if you have responded at any point, best to tell him the truth to keep you both on the same page!

match.com the ultimate stalker tool

So, what happens when the guy that you have been seeing on match.com keeps checking his online dating account?

This question came up this past weekend when I spent my first weekend (Friday night-Monday morning) with a guy, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) whom I had been seeing on match.com. While catching up on some emails Monday evening, I signed onto my match account (not to respond to my overflowing inbox or new winks--which all matchgirls have!) but rather to see my date's "active status"--only to find that the guy I had spent the entire weekend with, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) had been active within 1 hour! WTF?!?! Impossible, right? How could this be? We both admitted that our first date a few weeks prior was the best first date either of us had ever been on (which says ALOT coming form a matchgirl!), he twirled me around the kitchen while cooking dinner, and I mean, at mean at breakfast he even cut my toast into a heart-shape (well, he's a surgeon, so I guess he likes to cut things) but still! I had been with him for the entire weekend--was he really already perusing his next quest? OR...was he only active because he was looking to see MY status (which if he had been looking at that moment would have said "online now"). Oh no! Would sirbrainman be equally dismayed and bummed? Note: hopefully this is the case, and sirbrainman is not actually favoriting newbies or winking at prospective match encounters but really only checking matchgirls' status. But, regardless, ahhh! So with that, I freaked out, shut my laptop, and sulked.

It bums a matchgirl out when she sees the guy that she spent the weekend with checking his online dating profile the very next day. But, could matchgirl be onto something? Is sirbrainman only checking his online profile to see my activity status? Is it true that neither of us are actually winking, messaging, or scrolling through our daily 5, but more accurately only logging on to check the other person's status? Is this an evil, never-ending cycle a detail that the match gods simply overlooked? All I wanted was to get that giddy feeling of luster when I signed on--confident I'd to see the oh-so-sacred "Active within 3 days" status of sirbrainman's profile--which every matchgirl knows is the first step towards exclusivity! So, what is a matchgirl to do?

Obviously matchgirl would never suggest stopping going on match.com, sit, twiddle thumbs, and pray that matchguy does the same. No, matchgirls like assurance, and we especially like having our cake and eating it to. So, what did matchgirl do? She learned how to check a guy's "active" status, while keeping her status "inactive":

How to check a guy's status on match.com, while keeping your status inactive:

The challenge:
How can a matchgirl look at sirbrainman´s profile without his knowledge (i.e. without letting him think you are winking, searching, etc...(because this time, matchgirl doesn't want too!!).

Matchgirl's Answer:

Make a new match account: The free kind that match offers that is for "only-looking." It takes two minutes--you make a username and password and Voila! You can sign onto this second account (let's call it what it is, shall we: matchgirl's stalker account) and check any guys profile. Simply enter his username (no in this case, his username is not sirbrainman) into the search box.

What this accomplishes: Well, you keep sirbrainman smiling at your increasingly "inactive" status (thus sending him the subtle message that he too, can stop checking his account) all while smiling yourself as sirbrainman grows increasingly inactive as well. Problem Solved. Will keep you posted on the outcome.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

real life date - bad news

so last night one of the matchgals had a date with, well lets just be a bit vulgar and call him what he is, @$$ hole #1. now we can honestly say that this is the low of the low worst date recorded in matchgal history. to preface this situation, matchgal and @$$ hole #1 first communicated through matchmail (matchmail is defined as the anonymous email services provided by dating websites). they seemed to share a lot of interests, love for travel, photography and just similiar down-to-earth vibe. after a few emails back and forth matchgal provided @$$ hole #1 her phone number to have a little phone chit-chat. after speaking for one hour (this is rare!), laughing, and sharing some funny jokes matchgal had a good feeling about the dude. she did sense a lot of sarcasm but thought perhaps he was nervous-a little sarcasm generally isn´t a turn off....date numero 1 was set for the following weekend at go-to-date bar (one should always have a go-to-date bar, a place that is quiet, has tables, low lighting and isn´t too crowded).

morning of date numero 1, @$$ hole#1 calls to cancel, excuse: ¨called into work¨. ehh ok matchgirl a little weary but it was all good, re-scheduled date numero 1 to thursday. thursday rolls around and matchgal is just not in her element, tired from lack of sleep the night before and just not feelin it (Note: NEVER go on a date when you aren´t feeling it, not worth it, could be the love of your life and you are feeling so crappy that you give off the wrong vibe or do not exude the confidence you need to show him how awesome you are). so date is rescheduled for following monday, text messages are exchanged throughout weekend, lots and lots of sarcasm (beginning of bad sign)....anywho date numero 1 happens at go-to-bar at 8 pm on last night! like always, matchgal runs about 5 minutes late. having arrived at the bar 5 minutes late, matchgal was welcomed with her phone blowing up with 3 text messages from @$$hole#1 about her tardiness (i like to refer to this as fashionably late), one message referred to a point system, apparently matchgal had lost 5 points for running late. pfff whatever. awkward convo ensues...here are some of the highlights:

  • comment to matchgal about her body language while sitting on an awkward stool at the bar, apparently legs were crossed the wrong direction and that meant matchgal did not want to be there, despite being angled in an odd direction, sitting on an uncomfortable tiny round wood piece.
  • him: ¨whats your favorite movie¨ me: ¨well i like moulin rouge, the notebook, james bond, i dunno dont have a very FAV movie¨ him: ¨we have nothing in common¨ WHAT!?¿
  • comment to matchgal about her bangs ¨are you covering up a lot of zits or something, why do you have that fringe¨
  • ¨oh, you would be a middle child¨--not sure what this means
  • ¨why don´t you start a conversation for once¨ (note: i had asked him a few questions and he NEVER responded. ex: me:¨do you have siblings¨ him: ¨sorta, how about you¨ me:¨sorta...ok...yeah i have blah blah blah¨ him: ¨how about another question?¨ me: ¨if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be¨ him: ¨i already told you this¨ me: ¨mmm dont think so, that was probably the other girl you went out with¨ him: ¨you are the one that obviously has been out with too many guys and does not remember things about me¨....awkward silence...
  • ¨why are you twirling your hair¨ (he was jealous cause he lacks a bit in the hair department...)
  • oh minus more points for not knowing exact location of zambia and not being able to name its bordering countrys---SORRY @$$ HOLE!
  • as we are leaving ¨why are you wearing a scarf, its spring¨ (mind you i was wearing a colorful pasmina)
  • comment to matchgal after the awkward hug goodbye (matchgal forced herself to thank him for the beer despite it being very difficult) ¨well thanks for the convo, you are still negative points¨ WHAT??!!!
ohh and there was so much more i wish were documented or videotaped. goly geez horrible uncomfortable times.

what did we learn from this experience?
well matchgal would say that if the original date was cancelled twice and there was a strong sense of sarcasm from the get-go that she should listen to these as signs that perhaps this is not meant to be from the beginning. matchgal needs to be more upfront and be an equal a-hole back to people who talk to her like this. matchgal needs to devise a new system for leaving early, in this case matchgal should have just upped and left. matchgal has deleted @$$hole#1 from her phone and email. she has blocked him from contacting her on the website and will never never ever speak to this jerk wad again.

Lesson:
Not all guys are going to be kind, not all dates are going to be easy, fun and exciting. There are some bad eggs out there and every couple of awesome dates, we are bound to land a couple. its all part of the experience.....

Monday, April 13, 2009

first things first

Ok, so first off we should probably talk a little bit about online dating. Wikipedia defines online dating as:

¨a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with eachother over the internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provde unmoderated matchmaking over the internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones. Online dating services generally require a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search for the service provider´s database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIp), and message boards...¨

Online dating in short is using internet means, websites mainly, to assist you in meeting people. You have probably heard of some of the big ones, match.com, eharmony, chemistry.com, etc. These websites are becoming more and more popular and less and less taboo. While you may not want to share with the entire world that you are participating in online dating services, it has definetly become widely accepted as an easy and fun way to meet people you would never meet otherwise. Whether you are too busy to meet someone, are new to an area, are a little shy, hate all the people you meet at bars and clubs, or just need a little lovin´in your life...internet dating is a mighty fine solution to get your needs met and get you the love you deserve!

WELCOME WELCOME!

Dearest readers,

While i know you do not exist yet this blog is and will always be dedicated to YOU! This blog serves as a forum, a place for advice, to make you laugh, and just to share information about online dating. Having embarked on the adventure, and yes it is definetly an adventure, of online dating we understand the fears you may have in publishing a profile all about you and posting it smack on the web, we have seen firsthand the creeps that are on there and that try to stalk you, we have had some of the most awkward experiences of our lives in addition to meeting people who we thought were the loves of our lives. So, this blog is to throw it all on out there and welcome you into the world of online dating. Online dating will change your life, bring you up to cloud 9 some days and make you feel really lonely on others but one thing is for certain, you are going to have some laugheable moments to cherish forever.

Love,

the matchgals