#1. Any guy who eats sushi with a fork.
#2. Any guy who considers watching cage-fighting live on Saturday night the highlight of his week.
#3. Any guy who sends a text saying:
"Watching the Bachelorette last night makes me want to kiss you."
#4. Any guy who can't spell check:
"Hey whats going on my name is matchguy im 25 i live in town rite on the boarder of town. I hope we can chat and get to know one another soon take care."
#5. Any guy who chews with his mouth open. (This is a classic yes, but still a deal-breaker.)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
rule #56454564 dont date dumb guys
That's great that you got to spend so much time in Central America and Spain. I bet that was a really cool experience. You probably speak great French now too!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
real life scenario
friday night matchgals went out on the town after a fundraiser they attended. they were in search of a low key wine bar where they could enjoy a glass of wine and catch up on the week´s happenings, especially boys! well, they never found the wine bar and ended up at a typical sports bar that attracts a lot of thirsty people. well, what the heck, they decided to have a drink and feel it out. matchgals enter bar confident and looking great and head straight to the bar. it was within those first 30 seconds that matchgal2 freaks--she sees him, a potential matchguy right there standing next to the bar. matchgals scramble to the bathroom in hopes that guy does not spot matchgal. after a re-application of lipgloss, fixing of the hair and relaxation sesh, matchgals decide to return to the bar. when you have never met someone in person it is hard to tell if it is really him, lets admit it, we all look fabulous in our pictures online so once you meet in person its difficult to recognize the person. well matchgal2 was pretty confident this was guy who she was supposed to be going on a date with the very next day. well, to be sure matchgals devised a little plan to call guy anonymously to see if he reached for his phone. well, with a little *67 and the phone hidden in her purse, matchgal sure enough called him and...yup....he reached for his pocket, matchgal quickly hung up and a lot of good giggles ensued.
matchgals weren´t really up for the night so they left shortly after, but our real life run in with a guy we had never met made for an eventful evening.
heres some tips if you see someone out that you recognized from matchgal:
matchgals weren´t really up for the night so they left shortly after, but our real life run in with a guy we had never met made for an eventful evening.
heres some tips if you see someone out that you recognized from matchgal:
- let him approach you, no reason to go out of your way to make an inevitably awkward encounter
- if he approaches you, be friendly and say something simple ¨hey, so funny to run into you here, guess we have similiar taste in bars¨, through him a giant smile.¨
- depending on how comfortable you feel, continue to chat, but really try to play hard to get and save your get-to-know-ya time for a quiet place another night, say something like ¨well, great to meet you I look forward to seeing you again, I´m going to get back to my friends¨.
Monday, May 4, 2009
matchgal learns a lesson
just when matchgal thought things were goin good, everything fell apart...no more phone calls, no response to texts, no daily emails mr. extreme sport just fell off the face on the earth. matchgal was conflicted as to what to do, her instinct told her to let go and not try to contact him. but well matchgal, being the silly girl she is, starts to like guys more and more as they are harder and harder to get, ughh games (DON¨T PLAY GAMES LIKE ME)! well, matchgal was back on the prowl and decided she needed a new gem in her life to distract her from mr. extreme sport who was obviously no longer interested or dating someone else.
well, matchgal was perusing the database of millions and millions of men, she stumbled upon mr extreme sport ¨active within 3 days¨ (note he removed his profile about a month prior). ok ok don´t freak it´s fine, he hasn´t been on in 3 days it´s not too bad. a few deep breaths, a few phone calls to friends ranting about mr. extreme sport everyone said the same thing relax, get over him, ¨you didnt even like him that much¨, which i guess is sorta true. well, matchgal decided the best thing to do would be to schedule a date with one of those back burner guys, ya know the ones that you have talked to, seem nice but nothing has really progressed farther than that...so matchgal shoots a text over to a potential and plans are set for dinner and drinks saturday evening. (mistake 1: first dates should not be on a saturday)
a little history on this guy, matchgal found potential guy interesting but the phone conversations had been slightly awkward, thinking he was just nervous matchgal thought pursuing a date couldn´t hurt...plus he wanted to take her to a real nice place ;)
so, matchgal arrives at the bar a little earlier than boy she sits awkwardly near the door waiting for him, not sure what to expect. guy walks in, greets her, they take seat and order a glass of wine. matchgal feels the awkwardness from the get-go, begins to chug wine and is like hollyyyy shnikiess this is going to be a long night. matchgal excuses herself, RUNs the bathroom and calls her counterpart matchgal hysterically. matchgals awesome co-part says she will call and then to make up an excuse. when matchgal returns mr. super awkward had ordered a pitcher of sangria--shittt. luckily matchgal calls about 15 painful minutes later and matchgal tells mr. super awkward that its her friends birthday and they were supposed to be going to see a band but it got cancelled so they are going to a bar right down the street. matchgal tells mr. super awkward that´ll she´ll have to leave pretty soon. mr. awkward wants to order food, grab a table, anything to keep matchgal there! matchgal says shes not hungry and cant stop thinking about getting out of there! phew, sangria chugged, a little tipsy--matchgal stands up, thanks mr. super awkward profusely for the drinks and BOLTS.
lesson learned: don´t be desperate and try to go on a date just for the hell of it. if you can´t have a conversation on the phone chances are face to face is going to be a lot more difficult!
well, matchgal was perusing the database of millions and millions of men, she stumbled upon mr extreme sport ¨active within 3 days¨ (note he removed his profile about a month prior). ok ok don´t freak it´s fine, he hasn´t been on in 3 days it´s not too bad. a few deep breaths, a few phone calls to friends ranting about mr. extreme sport everyone said the same thing relax, get over him, ¨you didnt even like him that much¨, which i guess is sorta true. well, matchgal decided the best thing to do would be to schedule a date with one of those back burner guys, ya know the ones that you have talked to, seem nice but nothing has really progressed farther than that...so matchgal shoots a text over to a potential and plans are set for dinner and drinks saturday evening. (mistake 1: first dates should not be on a saturday)
a little history on this guy, matchgal found potential guy interesting but the phone conversations had been slightly awkward, thinking he was just nervous matchgal thought pursuing a date couldn´t hurt...plus he wanted to take her to a real nice place ;)
so, matchgal arrives at the bar a little earlier than boy she sits awkwardly near the door waiting for him, not sure what to expect. guy walks in, greets her, they take seat and order a glass of wine. matchgal feels the awkwardness from the get-go, begins to chug wine and is like hollyyyy shnikiess this is going to be a long night. matchgal excuses herself, RUNs the bathroom and calls her counterpart matchgal hysterically. matchgals awesome co-part says she will call and then to make up an excuse. when matchgal returns mr. super awkward had ordered a pitcher of sangria--shittt. luckily matchgal calls about 15 painful minutes later and matchgal tells mr. super awkward that its her friends birthday and they were supposed to be going to see a band but it got cancelled so they are going to a bar right down the street. matchgal tells mr. super awkward that´ll she´ll have to leave pretty soon. mr. awkward wants to order food, grab a table, anything to keep matchgal there! matchgal says shes not hungry and cant stop thinking about getting out of there! phew, sangria chugged, a little tipsy--matchgal stands up, thanks mr. super awkward profusely for the drinks and BOLTS.
lesson learned: don´t be desperate and try to go on a date just for the hell of it. if you can´t have a conversation on the phone chances are face to face is going to be a lot more difficult!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
For Those Skeptical of Online Dating...
There is a perception that for the young single woman online-dating is a faux pas.
So first, why don't I go ahead and explain what is considered socially acceptable in today's dating scene.
You're single. Your best bet at meeting a man (post-college) is through work or through friends (or friends of friends). These are both great options for meeting people, but unfortunately, these options can be too easily tapped out. This can happen in two ways--you work in an office that is lacking single men or you don't have a lot of friends (and thus, friends of friends) where you live. This is especially true if you are new to the town or city you live in.
Let me explain. First, let's say you work alone or mostly with women--neither are going to be conducive settings to meet single men. Currently, I work at a non-profit (my office is easily 85% female) and there are many occupations that are like this -- nursing, teaching, fashion, magazines, etc. I understand I may be sounding a little stereotypical--and of course there are male teachers and nurses, but for the single woman I am trying to be realistic in saying that these may not be the best conditions in which to meet eligible bachelors. Also, there are many jobs these days in which people work from home and/or on the road. My first job after college was selling pharmaceutical drugs--I spent the entire day in my car going in and out of doctors offices. The closest thing I had to co-workers were the baristas at Starbucks. (Note--you're probably thinking I could have dated doctors too, right? Wrong--unless dating men over 60 is your thing, this wasn't an option, and the one cute doctor on my route was married.)
Okay, so you fall into one of the above situations and probably won't be successful at snagging any men through work. The next option is friends of friends. Again, this is a great way to meet like-minded singles, and several people meet their significant others this way--we are just saying that it may not be the most dependable option. You may be new to the city you live in, you may already have met most of your friends friends network and unfortunately, never hit it off with any of them. Certainly future opportunities will arise in which new singles will mix into the "friends of friends" network--but it may take time and lots of energy always going to social gatherings hoping that the next "friend" will be the love of your life. The odds, however, are against you--and the way he burped after chugging the bud light cheering to the baseball game at the bar--may suggest that he's probably not the one for you. Unless you are into that ofcourse, and then by all means...go for it.
So, the most common third go-to for meeting singles in your early 20s is the infamous and socially acceptable bar scene. (Note: no longer having to participate in this animalistic ritual is by far my favorite part about joining match.com--more later.)
The bar-scene, in a nutshell:
You spend several minutes (or for some of you, hours) pampering and prepping for the Friday night bar scene. You get your nails done, eyebrows waxed, tan sprayed on, and so forth. You shop for the latest cute outfit or resort to your "going-out" tops section in your closet. You style your hair, put on extra eye-liner, and accessorize, all in an effort to look cute and approachable for that evenings single scene hot-spot (although, you never admit that you are looking for singles, but rather position the evening as a night on the town with your girlfriends, which everyone knows is code for being on the prowl.)
So, you meet with your friends, hail a cab, and stand in line at that night's club or bar. You get in (probably don't pay a cover if you are a lady) and get into the coveted bar scene. The hot, smelly, expensive, bar with the 20-minute-long line for the bathroom.
What girls hope and believe the bar-scene will bring them:
A room full of cute single guys all interested in you. So with that said,
MAYBE you make eye-contact with a cute guy.
MAYBE cute guy approaches you.
MAYBE cute guy is even cuter during conversation.
MAYBE he asks for his number.
MAYBE he calls.
MAYBE you go on a date.
MAYBE he calls.
MAYBE you go on a 2nd date.
MAYBE you eventually become exclusive, Facebook official, get married, have kids and live happily ever after with the love of your life.
OR...(the more realistic version):
Maybe you do make eye-contact with a cute guy--OR maybe at the same moment he leaves the bar, or is with his girlfriend, or begins flirting with another girl.
Maybe cute guy does approach you--OR maybe his looks are all that he has--and he is a complete dud when in conversation.
Maybe you do have great conversation--OR maybe one of you gets pulled aside for a moment and never find each other again (since these bars are dark and crowded), or maybe he says "be right back" and leaves, or maybe he is in town for one night from Calcutta, or maybe he is simply too nervous to ask for your number.
Maybe he does ask for your number--OR maybe he asks 5 other girls for their number as well, maybe he loses your number, or maybe he has a girlfriend.
Maybe he calls--OR maybe you never hear from him again.
These bar nights usually end with women spending lots of money, having to use lots of eye make-up remover, feeling depressed, and being alone at the end of the night (I used to console myself in unhealthy late-night snacking). Then the next morning, I was usually too tired to have a productive day because of my horrible headache from the "maybe I'll look sexier" shots I took at the bar.
Most of us work 40+ hours Monday-Friday--our free time is precious and should be used wisely. We should not spend our nights at the bar because society tells us that is how we should be spending our free time and how we should meet guys. So the point of this long-winded ranting: The bar scene is simply not a conducive way to meet men.
Ladies, you should celebrate this realization! Cheer! Scream! Open champagne! It is quite a revelation when women realize this! If you don't know why to celebrate or be happy...you will. It took me 2 weeks after joining match.com to have my revelation--and I still smile whenever I walk by a crowded bar scene--as if the dating gods above shared with me a dirty little secret that is online dating. :) And here's to sharing it with you. Cheers.
So first, why don't I go ahead and explain what is considered socially acceptable in today's dating scene.
You're single. Your best bet at meeting a man (post-college) is through work or through friends (or friends of friends). These are both great options for meeting people, but unfortunately, these options can be too easily tapped out. This can happen in two ways--you work in an office that is lacking single men or you don't have a lot of friends (and thus, friends of friends) where you live. This is especially true if you are new to the town or city you live in.
Let me explain. First, let's say you work alone or mostly with women--neither are going to be conducive settings to meet single men. Currently, I work at a non-profit (my office is easily 85% female) and there are many occupations that are like this -- nursing, teaching, fashion, magazines, etc. I understand I may be sounding a little stereotypical--and of course there are male teachers and nurses, but for the single woman I am trying to be realistic in saying that these may not be the best conditions in which to meet eligible bachelors. Also, there are many jobs these days in which people work from home and/or on the road. My first job after college was selling pharmaceutical drugs--I spent the entire day in my car going in and out of doctors offices. The closest thing I had to co-workers were the baristas at Starbucks. (Note--you're probably thinking I could have dated doctors too, right? Wrong--unless dating men over 60 is your thing, this wasn't an option, and the one cute doctor on my route was married.)
Okay, so you fall into one of the above situations and probably won't be successful at snagging any men through work. The next option is friends of friends. Again, this is a great way to meet like-minded singles, and several people meet their significant others this way--we are just saying that it may not be the most dependable option. You may be new to the city you live in, you may already have met most of your friends friends network and unfortunately, never hit it off with any of them. Certainly future opportunities will arise in which new singles will mix into the "friends of friends" network--but it may take time and lots of energy always going to social gatherings hoping that the next "friend" will be the love of your life. The odds, however, are against you--and the way he burped after chugging the bud light cheering to the baseball game at the bar--may suggest that he's probably not the one for you. Unless you are into that ofcourse, and then by all means...go for it.
So, the most common third go-to for meeting singles in your early 20s is the infamous and socially acceptable bar scene. (Note: no longer having to participate in this animalistic ritual is by far my favorite part about joining match.com--more later.)
The bar-scene, in a nutshell:
You spend several minutes (or for some of you, hours) pampering and prepping for the Friday night bar scene. You get your nails done, eyebrows waxed, tan sprayed on, and so forth. You shop for the latest cute outfit or resort to your "going-out" tops section in your closet. You style your hair, put on extra eye-liner, and accessorize, all in an effort to look cute and approachable for that evenings single scene hot-spot (although, you never admit that you are looking for singles, but rather position the evening as a night on the town with your girlfriends, which everyone knows is code for being on the prowl.)
So, you meet with your friends, hail a cab, and stand in line at that night's club or bar. You get in (probably don't pay a cover if you are a lady) and get into the coveted bar scene. The hot, smelly, expensive, bar with the 20-minute-long line for the bathroom.
What girls hope and believe the bar-scene will bring them:
A room full of cute single guys all interested in you. So with that said,
MAYBE you make eye-contact with a cute guy.
MAYBE cute guy approaches you.
MAYBE cute guy is even cuter during conversation.
MAYBE he asks for his number.
MAYBE he calls.
MAYBE you go on a date.
MAYBE he calls.
MAYBE you go on a 2nd date.
MAYBE you eventually become exclusive, Facebook official, get married, have kids and live happily ever after with the love of your life.
OR...(the more realistic version):
Maybe you do make eye-contact with a cute guy--OR maybe at the same moment he leaves the bar, or is with his girlfriend, or begins flirting with another girl.
Maybe cute guy does approach you--OR maybe his looks are all that he has--and he is a complete dud when in conversation.
Maybe you do have great conversation--OR maybe one of you gets pulled aside for a moment and never find each other again (since these bars are dark and crowded), or maybe he says "be right back" and leaves, or maybe he is in town for one night from Calcutta, or maybe he is simply too nervous to ask for your number.
Maybe he does ask for your number--OR maybe he asks 5 other girls for their number as well, maybe he loses your number, or maybe he has a girlfriend.
Maybe he calls--OR maybe you never hear from him again.
These bar nights usually end with women spending lots of money, having to use lots of eye make-up remover, feeling depressed, and being alone at the end of the night (I used to console myself in unhealthy late-night snacking). Then the next morning, I was usually too tired to have a productive day because of my horrible headache from the "maybe I'll look sexier" shots I took at the bar.
Most of us work 40+ hours Monday-Friday--our free time is precious and should be used wisely. We should not spend our nights at the bar because society tells us that is how we should be spending our free time and how we should meet guys. So the point of this long-winded ranting: The bar scene is simply not a conducive way to meet men.
Ladies, you should celebrate this realization! Cheer! Scream! Open champagne! It is quite a revelation when women realize this! If you don't know why to celebrate or be happy...you will. It took me 2 weeks after joining match.com to have my revelation--and I still smile whenever I walk by a crowded bar scene--as if the dating gods above shared with me a dirty little secret that is online dating. :) And here's to sharing it with you. Cheers.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
dating websites
So, as a newbie to the online dating world, your head is probably spinning as to where to begin. We felt that way too at the beginning. Commercials for e-harmony (lindsay lohans e-harmony commercial, haha), advertisements for match.com, emails from yahoo!´s Personal, chemistry.com, the list goes on and on. We too, were lost at first and still feeling a little uncertain about the whole process. It seems scary posting pictures of yourself, information about yourself (tip: never post anything that can identify you, last name, address, phone number are all no nos), so it is important that you feel comfortable with your dating service and find a place where you think the people are most like yourself! At first there is no harm in giving a few a try (most sites have free trials), taking advantage of the free glance arounds and deciding which one fits you best.
After a bit of research and speaking to some of our friends we decided that the ones most popular for people in their early 20´s were: match.com and yahoo! personal. Match.com is probably the largest and has over 20 million people throughout the world, we would say it has the reputation as the simplest and easiest and most popular to use. On the other hand, rumors tell us that e-harmony is geared at an older population, someone that may be looking for a very serious relationship or looking to get married. perfectmatch is another popular page that we just don´t know a whole lot about, but also considered a reputible popular place to meet someone!
Here is a great page that breaks down some of the characteristics of the most popular dating services. We urge you to take a look and give one of these a try! We can´t wait to hear your stories! Any insight ya´ll might have into these websites where we are not as familiar, would be greatly appreciated!
Happy Earth Day!!
After a bit of research and speaking to some of our friends we decided that the ones most popular for people in their early 20´s were: match.com and yahoo! personal. Match.com is probably the largest and has over 20 million people throughout the world, we would say it has the reputation as the simplest and easiest and most popular to use. On the other hand, rumors tell us that e-harmony is geared at an older population, someone that may be looking for a very serious relationship or looking to get married. perfectmatch is another popular page that we just don´t know a whole lot about, but also considered a reputible popular place to meet someone!
Here is a great page that breaks down some of the characteristics of the most popular dating services. We urge you to take a look and give one of these a try! We can´t wait to hear your stories! Any insight ya´ll might have into these websites where we are not as familiar, would be greatly appreciated!
Happy Earth Day!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
a few tips
want to know how us matchgirls play the game, we will let ya into a few of our tricks of the trade.....
1. it IS ok for a matchgirl to contact a guy. online dating is an extremely populated and complex system. sometimes you may have to do a little searching to uncover some of those gems, you can´t always expect them to contact you first!
2. if you receive a wink, either a. wink back (your sorta ehh ehh about him) b. email him (he´s lookin fab) or c. do nothing (you are not interested)
3. if after 2 or 3 emails back and forth, you a. are not feeling it, b. there is no mention of person to person/phone contact, c. he has taken forever (longer than a week) to respond to each email, d. he has not been active for over a week, e. or the emails are just LAME....forget about him!
4. always speak on the phone before you go out-hey if you can´t have a phone convo chances are your real life convo won´t flow too much
5. boy should be blocked if: a. he incessantly sends you unwanted messages, b. he/she says creepy stuff, c. he/she has 20 yrs on ya(creeep-unless ur into that-sorry we dont condone these things) d. has a daughter your age (yes that has happened to US!), e. his/her pictures are CLEARLY from last months j.crew catalog
6. ALWAYS be honest. if you aren´t interested yet have been out, tell him. its ok to ignore a wink or an email but if you have responded at any point, best to tell him the truth to keep you both on the same page!
1. it IS ok for a matchgirl to contact a guy. online dating is an extremely populated and complex system. sometimes you may have to do a little searching to uncover some of those gems, you can´t always expect them to contact you first!
2. if you receive a wink, either a. wink back (your sorta ehh ehh about him) b. email him (he´s lookin fab) or c. do nothing (you are not interested)
3. if after 2 or 3 emails back and forth, you a. are not feeling it, b. there is no mention of person to person/phone contact, c. he has taken forever (longer than a week) to respond to each email, d. he has not been active for over a week, e. or the emails are just LAME....forget about him!
4. always speak on the phone before you go out-hey if you can´t have a phone convo chances are your real life convo won´t flow too much
5. boy should be blocked if: a. he incessantly sends you unwanted messages, b. he/she says creepy stuff, c. he/she has 20 yrs on ya(creeep-unless ur into that-sorry we dont condone these things) d. has a daughter your age (yes that has happened to US!), e. his/her pictures are CLEARLY from last months j.crew catalog
6. ALWAYS be honest. if you aren´t interested yet have been out, tell him. its ok to ignore a wink or an email but if you have responded at any point, best to tell him the truth to keep you both on the same page!
match.com the ultimate stalker tool
So, what happens when the guy that you have been seeing on match.com keeps checking his online dating account?
This question came up this past weekend when I spent my first weekend (Friday night-Monday morning) with a guy, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) whom I had been seeing on match.com. While catching up on some emails Monday evening, I signed onto my match account (not to respond to my overflowing inbox or new winks--which all matchgirls have!) but rather to see my date's "active status"--only to find that the guy I had spent the entire weekend with, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) had been active within 1 hour! WTF?!?! Impossible, right? How could this be? We both admitted that our first date a few weeks prior was the best first date either of us had ever been on (which says ALOT coming form a matchgirl!), he twirled me around the kitchen while cooking dinner, and I mean, at mean at breakfast he even cut my toast into a heart-shape (well, he's a surgeon, so I guess he likes to cut things) but still! I had been with him for the entire weekend--was he really already perusing his next quest? OR...was he only active because he was looking to see MY status (which if he had been looking at that moment would have said "online now"). Oh no! Would sirbrainman be equally dismayed and bummed? Note: hopefully this is the case, and sirbrainman is not actually favoriting newbies or winking at prospective match encounters but really only checking matchgirls' status. But, regardless, ahhh! So with that, I freaked out, shut my laptop, and sulked.
It bums a matchgirl out when she sees the guy that she spent the weekend with checking his online dating profile the very next day. But, could matchgirl be onto something? Is sirbrainman only checking his online profile to see my activity status? Is it true that neither of us are actually winking, messaging, or scrolling through our daily 5, but more accurately only logging on to check the other person's status? Is this an evil, never-ending cycle a detail that the match gods simply overlooked? All I wanted was to get that giddy feeling of luster when I signed on--confident I'd to see the oh-so-sacred "Active within 3 days" status of sirbrainman's profile--which every matchgirl knows is the first step towards exclusivity! So, what is a matchgirl to do?
Obviously matchgirl would never suggest stopping going on match.com, sit, twiddle thumbs, and pray that matchguy does the same. No, matchgirls like assurance, and we especially like having our cake and eating it to. So, what did matchgirl do? She learned how to check a guy's "active" status, while keeping her status "inactive":
How to check a guy's status on match.com, while keeping your status inactive:
The challenge: How can a matchgirl look at sirbrainman´s profile without his knowledge (i.e. without letting him think you are winking, searching, etc...(because this time, matchgirl doesn't want too!!).
Matchgirl's Answer:
Make a new match account: The free kind that match offers that is for "only-looking." It takes two minutes--you make a username and password and Voila! You can sign onto this second account (let's call it what it is, shall we: matchgirl's stalker account) and check any guys profile. Simply enter his username (no in this case, his username is not sirbrainman) into the search box.
What this accomplishes: Well, you keep sirbrainman smiling at your increasingly "inactive" status (thus sending him the subtle message that he too, can stop checking his account) all while smiling yourself as sirbrainman grows increasingly inactive as well. Problem Solved. Will keep you posted on the outcome.
This question came up this past weekend when I spent my first weekend (Friday night-Monday morning) with a guy, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) whom I had been seeing on match.com. While catching up on some emails Monday evening, I signed onto my match account (not to respond to my overflowing inbox or new winks--which all matchgirls have!) but rather to see my date's "active status"--only to find that the guy I had spent the entire weekend with, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) had been active within 1 hour! WTF?!?! Impossible, right? How could this be? We both admitted that our first date a few weeks prior was the best first date either of us had ever been on (which says ALOT coming form a matchgirl!), he twirled me around the kitchen while cooking dinner, and I mean, at mean at breakfast he even cut my toast into a heart-shape (well, he's a surgeon, so I guess he likes to cut things) but still! I had been with him for the entire weekend--was he really already perusing his next quest? OR...was he only active because he was looking to see MY status (which if he had been looking at that moment would have said "online now"). Oh no! Would sirbrainman be equally dismayed and bummed? Note: hopefully this is the case, and sirbrainman is not actually favoriting newbies or winking at prospective match encounters but really only checking matchgirls' status. But, regardless, ahhh! So with that, I freaked out, shut my laptop, and sulked.
It bums a matchgirl out when she sees the guy that she spent the weekend with checking his online dating profile the very next day. But, could matchgirl be onto something? Is sirbrainman only checking his online profile to see my activity status? Is it true that neither of us are actually winking, messaging, or scrolling through our daily 5, but more accurately only logging on to check the other person's status? Is this an evil, never-ending cycle a detail that the match gods simply overlooked? All I wanted was to get that giddy feeling of luster when I signed on--confident I'd to see the oh-so-sacred "Active within 3 days" status of sirbrainman's profile--which every matchgirl knows is the first step towards exclusivity! So, what is a matchgirl to do?
Obviously matchgirl would never suggest stopping going on match.com, sit, twiddle thumbs, and pray that matchguy does the same. No, matchgirls like assurance, and we especially like having our cake and eating it to. So, what did matchgirl do? She learned how to check a guy's "active" status, while keeping her status "inactive":
How to check a guy's status on match.com, while keeping your status inactive:
The challenge: How can a matchgirl look at sirbrainman´s profile without his knowledge (i.e. without letting him think you are winking, searching, etc...(because this time, matchgirl doesn't want too!!).
Matchgirl's Answer:
Make a new match account: The free kind that match offers that is for "only-looking." It takes two minutes--you make a username and password and Voila! You can sign onto this second account (let's call it what it is, shall we: matchgirl's stalker account) and check any guys profile. Simply enter his username (no in this case, his username is not sirbrainman) into the search box.
What this accomplishes: Well, you keep sirbrainman smiling at your increasingly "inactive" status (thus sending him the subtle message that he too, can stop checking his account) all while smiling yourself as sirbrainman grows increasingly inactive as well. Problem Solved. Will keep you posted on the outcome.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
real life date - bad news
so last night one of the matchgals had a date with, well lets just be a bit vulgar and call him what he is, @$$ hole #1. now we can honestly say that this is the low of the low worst date recorded in matchgal history. to preface this situation, matchgal and @$$ hole #1 first communicated through matchmail (matchmail is defined as the anonymous email services provided by dating websites). they seemed to share a lot of interests, love for travel, photography and just similiar down-to-earth vibe. after a few emails back and forth matchgal provided @$$ hole #1 her phone number to have a little phone chit-chat. after speaking for one hour (this is rare!), laughing, and sharing some funny jokes matchgal had a good feeling about the dude. she did sense a lot of sarcasm but thought perhaps he was nervous-a little sarcasm generally isn´t a turn off....date numero 1 was set for the following weekend at go-to-date bar (one should always have a go-to-date bar, a place that is quiet, has tables, low lighting and isn´t too crowded).
morning of date numero 1, @$$ hole#1 calls to cancel, excuse: ¨called into work¨. ehh ok matchgirl a little weary but it was all good, re-scheduled date numero 1 to thursday. thursday rolls around and matchgal is just not in her element, tired from lack of sleep the night before and just not feelin it (Note: NEVER go on a date when you aren´t feeling it, not worth it, could be the love of your life and you are feeling so crappy that you give off the wrong vibe or do not exude the confidence you need to show him how awesome you are). so date is rescheduled for following monday, text messages are exchanged throughout weekend, lots and lots of sarcasm (beginning of bad sign)....anywho date numero 1 happens at go-to-bar at 8 pm on last night! like always, matchgal runs about 5 minutes late. having arrived at the bar 5 minutes late, matchgal was welcomed with her phone blowing up with 3 text messages from @$$hole#1 about her tardiness (i like to refer to this as fashionably late), one message referred to a point system, apparently matchgal had lost 5 points for running late. pfff whatever. awkward convo ensues...here are some of the highlights:
what did we learn from this experience?
well matchgal would say that if the original date was cancelled twice and there was a strong sense of sarcasm from the get-go that she should listen to these as signs that perhaps this is not meant to be from the beginning. matchgal needs to be more upfront and be an equal a-hole back to people who talk to her like this. matchgal needs to devise a new system for leaving early, in this case matchgal should have just upped and left. matchgal has deleted @$$hole#1 from her phone and email. she has blocked him from contacting her on the website and will never never ever speak to this jerk wad again.
Lesson:
Not all guys are going to be kind, not all dates are going to be easy, fun and exciting. There are some bad eggs out there and every couple of awesome dates, we are bound to land a couple. its all part of the experience.....
morning of date numero 1, @$$ hole#1 calls to cancel, excuse: ¨called into work¨. ehh ok matchgirl a little weary but it was all good, re-scheduled date numero 1 to thursday. thursday rolls around and matchgal is just not in her element, tired from lack of sleep the night before and just not feelin it (Note: NEVER go on a date when you aren´t feeling it, not worth it, could be the love of your life and you are feeling so crappy that you give off the wrong vibe or do not exude the confidence you need to show him how awesome you are). so date is rescheduled for following monday, text messages are exchanged throughout weekend, lots and lots of sarcasm (beginning of bad sign)....anywho date numero 1 happens at go-to-bar at 8 pm on last night! like always, matchgal runs about 5 minutes late. having arrived at the bar 5 minutes late, matchgal was welcomed with her phone blowing up with 3 text messages from @$$hole#1 about her tardiness (i like to refer to this as fashionably late), one message referred to a point system, apparently matchgal had lost 5 points for running late. pfff whatever. awkward convo ensues...here are some of the highlights:
- comment to matchgal about her body language while sitting on an awkward stool at the bar, apparently legs were crossed the wrong direction and that meant matchgal did not want to be there, despite being angled in an odd direction, sitting on an uncomfortable tiny round wood piece.
- him: ¨whats your favorite movie¨ me: ¨well i like moulin rouge, the notebook, james bond, i dunno dont have a very FAV movie¨ him: ¨we have nothing in common¨ WHAT!?¿
- comment to matchgal about her bangs ¨are you covering up a lot of zits or something, why do you have that fringe¨
- ¨oh, you would be a middle child¨--not sure what this means
- ¨why don´t you start a conversation for once¨ (note: i had asked him a few questions and he NEVER responded. ex: me:¨do you have siblings¨ him: ¨sorta, how about you¨ me:¨sorta...ok...yeah i have blah blah blah¨ him: ¨how about another question?¨ me: ¨if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be¨ him: ¨i already told you this¨ me: ¨mmm dont think so, that was probably the other girl you went out with¨ him: ¨you are the one that obviously has been out with too many guys and does not remember things about me¨....awkward silence...
- ¨why are you twirling your hair¨ (he was jealous cause he lacks a bit in the hair department...)
- oh minus more points for not knowing exact location of zambia and not being able to name its bordering countrys---SORRY @$$ HOLE!
- as we are leaving ¨why are you wearing a scarf, its spring¨ (mind you i was wearing a colorful pasmina)
- comment to matchgal after the awkward hug goodbye (matchgal forced herself to thank him for the beer despite it being very difficult) ¨well thanks for the convo, you are still negative points¨ WHAT??!!!
what did we learn from this experience?
well matchgal would say that if the original date was cancelled twice and there was a strong sense of sarcasm from the get-go that she should listen to these as signs that perhaps this is not meant to be from the beginning. matchgal needs to be more upfront and be an equal a-hole back to people who talk to her like this. matchgal needs to devise a new system for leaving early, in this case matchgal should have just upped and left. matchgal has deleted @$$hole#1 from her phone and email. she has blocked him from contacting her on the website and will never never ever speak to this jerk wad again.
Lesson:
Not all guys are going to be kind, not all dates are going to be easy, fun and exciting. There are some bad eggs out there and every couple of awesome dates, we are bound to land a couple. its all part of the experience.....
Monday, April 13, 2009
first things first
Ok, so first off we should probably talk a little bit about online dating. Wikipedia defines online dating as:
Online dating in short is using internet means, websites mainly, to assist you in meeting people. You have probably heard of some of the big ones, match.com, eharmony, chemistry.com, etc. These websites are becoming more and more popular and less and less taboo. While you may not want to share with the entire world that you are participating in online dating services, it has definetly become widely accepted as an easy and fun way to meet people you would never meet otherwise. Whether you are too busy to meet someone, are new to an area, are a little shy, hate all the people you meet at bars and clubs, or just need a little lovin´in your life...internet dating is a mighty fine solution to get your needs met and get you the love you deserve!
¨a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with eachother over the internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal, romantic or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provde unmoderated matchmaking over the internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones. Online dating services generally require a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search for the service provider´s database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIp), and message boards...¨
Online dating in short is using internet means, websites mainly, to assist you in meeting people. You have probably heard of some of the big ones, match.com, eharmony, chemistry.com, etc. These websites are becoming more and more popular and less and less taboo. While you may not want to share with the entire world that you are participating in online dating services, it has definetly become widely accepted as an easy and fun way to meet people you would never meet otherwise. Whether you are too busy to meet someone, are new to an area, are a little shy, hate all the people you meet at bars and clubs, or just need a little lovin´in your life...internet dating is a mighty fine solution to get your needs met and get you the love you deserve!
WELCOME WELCOME!
Dearest readers,
While i know you do not exist yet this blog is and will always be dedicated to YOU! This blog serves as a forum, a place for advice, to make you laugh, and just to share information about online dating. Having embarked on the adventure, and yes it is definetly an adventure, of online dating we understand the fears you may have in publishing a profile all about you and posting it smack on the web, we have seen firsthand the creeps that are on there and that try to stalk you, we have had some of the most awkward experiences of our lives in addition to meeting people who we thought were the loves of our lives. So, this blog is to throw it all on out there and welcome you into the world of online dating. Online dating will change your life, bring you up to cloud 9 some days and make you feel really lonely on others but one thing is for certain, you are going to have some laugheable moments to cherish forever.
Love,
the matchgals
While i know you do not exist yet this blog is and will always be dedicated to YOU! This blog serves as a forum, a place for advice, to make you laugh, and just to share information about online dating. Having embarked on the adventure, and yes it is definetly an adventure, of online dating we understand the fears you may have in publishing a profile all about you and posting it smack on the web, we have seen firsthand the creeps that are on there and that try to stalk you, we have had some of the most awkward experiences of our lives in addition to meeting people who we thought were the loves of our lives. So, this blog is to throw it all on out there and welcome you into the world of online dating. Online dating will change your life, bring you up to cloud 9 some days and make you feel really lonely on others but one thing is for certain, you are going to have some laugheable moments to cherish forever.
Love,
the matchgals
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