Tuesday, April 21, 2009

match.com the ultimate stalker tool

So, what happens when the guy that you have been seeing on match.com keeps checking his online dating account?

This question came up this past weekend when I spent my first weekend (Friday night-Monday morning) with a guy, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) whom I had been seeing on match.com. While catching up on some emails Monday evening, I signed onto my match account (not to respond to my overflowing inbox or new winks--which all matchgirls have!) but rather to see my date's "active status"--only to find that the guy I had spent the entire weekend with, let's call him sirbrainman (What? He's smart!) had been active within 1 hour! WTF?!?! Impossible, right? How could this be? We both admitted that our first date a few weeks prior was the best first date either of us had ever been on (which says ALOT coming form a matchgirl!), he twirled me around the kitchen while cooking dinner, and I mean, at mean at breakfast he even cut my toast into a heart-shape (well, he's a surgeon, so I guess he likes to cut things) but still! I had been with him for the entire weekend--was he really already perusing his next quest? OR...was he only active because he was looking to see MY status (which if he had been looking at that moment would have said "online now"). Oh no! Would sirbrainman be equally dismayed and bummed? Note: hopefully this is the case, and sirbrainman is not actually favoriting newbies or winking at prospective match encounters but really only checking matchgirls' status. But, regardless, ahhh! So with that, I freaked out, shut my laptop, and sulked.

It bums a matchgirl out when she sees the guy that she spent the weekend with checking his online dating profile the very next day. But, could matchgirl be onto something? Is sirbrainman only checking his online profile to see my activity status? Is it true that neither of us are actually winking, messaging, or scrolling through our daily 5, but more accurately only logging on to check the other person's status? Is this an evil, never-ending cycle a detail that the match gods simply overlooked? All I wanted was to get that giddy feeling of luster when I signed on--confident I'd to see the oh-so-sacred "Active within 3 days" status of sirbrainman's profile--which every matchgirl knows is the first step towards exclusivity! So, what is a matchgirl to do?

Obviously matchgirl would never suggest stopping going on match.com, sit, twiddle thumbs, and pray that matchguy does the same. No, matchgirls like assurance, and we especially like having our cake and eating it to. So, what did matchgirl do? She learned how to check a guy's "active" status, while keeping her status "inactive":

How to check a guy's status on match.com, while keeping your status inactive:

The challenge:
How can a matchgirl look at sirbrainman´s profile without his knowledge (i.e. without letting him think you are winking, searching, etc...(because this time, matchgirl doesn't want too!!).

Matchgirl's Answer:

Make a new match account: The free kind that match offers that is for "only-looking." It takes two minutes--you make a username and password and Voila! You can sign onto this second account (let's call it what it is, shall we: matchgirl's stalker account) and check any guys profile. Simply enter his username (no in this case, his username is not sirbrainman) into the search box.

What this accomplishes: Well, you keep sirbrainman smiling at your increasingly "inactive" status (thus sending him the subtle message that he too, can stop checking his account) all while smiling yourself as sirbrainman grows increasingly inactive as well. Problem Solved. Will keep you posted on the outcome.

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