Tuesday, April 14, 2009

real life date - bad news

so last night one of the matchgals had a date with, well lets just be a bit vulgar and call him what he is, @$$ hole #1. now we can honestly say that this is the low of the low worst date recorded in matchgal history. to preface this situation, matchgal and @$$ hole #1 first communicated through matchmail (matchmail is defined as the anonymous email services provided by dating websites). they seemed to share a lot of interests, love for travel, photography and just similiar down-to-earth vibe. after a few emails back and forth matchgal provided @$$ hole #1 her phone number to have a little phone chit-chat. after speaking for one hour (this is rare!), laughing, and sharing some funny jokes matchgal had a good feeling about the dude. she did sense a lot of sarcasm but thought perhaps he was nervous-a little sarcasm generally isn´t a turn off....date numero 1 was set for the following weekend at go-to-date bar (one should always have a go-to-date bar, a place that is quiet, has tables, low lighting and isn´t too crowded).

morning of date numero 1, @$$ hole#1 calls to cancel, excuse: ¨called into work¨. ehh ok matchgirl a little weary but it was all good, re-scheduled date numero 1 to thursday. thursday rolls around and matchgal is just not in her element, tired from lack of sleep the night before and just not feelin it (Note: NEVER go on a date when you aren´t feeling it, not worth it, could be the love of your life and you are feeling so crappy that you give off the wrong vibe or do not exude the confidence you need to show him how awesome you are). so date is rescheduled for following monday, text messages are exchanged throughout weekend, lots and lots of sarcasm (beginning of bad sign)....anywho date numero 1 happens at go-to-bar at 8 pm on last night! like always, matchgal runs about 5 minutes late. having arrived at the bar 5 minutes late, matchgal was welcomed with her phone blowing up with 3 text messages from @$$hole#1 about her tardiness (i like to refer to this as fashionably late), one message referred to a point system, apparently matchgal had lost 5 points for running late. pfff whatever. awkward convo ensues...here are some of the highlights:

  • comment to matchgal about her body language while sitting on an awkward stool at the bar, apparently legs were crossed the wrong direction and that meant matchgal did not want to be there, despite being angled in an odd direction, sitting on an uncomfortable tiny round wood piece.
  • him: ¨whats your favorite movie¨ me: ¨well i like moulin rouge, the notebook, james bond, i dunno dont have a very FAV movie¨ him: ¨we have nothing in common¨ WHAT!?¿
  • comment to matchgal about her bangs ¨are you covering up a lot of zits or something, why do you have that fringe¨
  • ¨oh, you would be a middle child¨--not sure what this means
  • ¨why don´t you start a conversation for once¨ (note: i had asked him a few questions and he NEVER responded. ex: me:¨do you have siblings¨ him: ¨sorta, how about you¨ me:¨sorta...ok...yeah i have blah blah blah¨ him: ¨how about another question?¨ me: ¨if you had to eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be¨ him: ¨i already told you this¨ me: ¨mmm dont think so, that was probably the other girl you went out with¨ him: ¨you are the one that obviously has been out with too many guys and does not remember things about me¨....awkward silence...
  • ¨why are you twirling your hair¨ (he was jealous cause he lacks a bit in the hair department...)
  • oh minus more points for not knowing exact location of zambia and not being able to name its bordering countrys---SORRY @$$ HOLE!
  • as we are leaving ¨why are you wearing a scarf, its spring¨ (mind you i was wearing a colorful pasmina)
  • comment to matchgal after the awkward hug goodbye (matchgal forced herself to thank him for the beer despite it being very difficult) ¨well thanks for the convo, you are still negative points¨ WHAT??!!!
ohh and there was so much more i wish were documented or videotaped. goly geez horrible uncomfortable times.

what did we learn from this experience?
well matchgal would say that if the original date was cancelled twice and there was a strong sense of sarcasm from the get-go that she should listen to these as signs that perhaps this is not meant to be from the beginning. matchgal needs to be more upfront and be an equal a-hole back to people who talk to her like this. matchgal needs to devise a new system for leaving early, in this case matchgal should have just upped and left. matchgal has deleted @$$hole#1 from her phone and email. she has blocked him from contacting her on the website and will never never ever speak to this jerk wad again.

Not all guys are going to be kind, not all dates are going to be easy, fun and exciting. There are some bad eggs out there and every couple of awesome dates, we are bound to land a couple. its all part of the experience.....

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